Selphie's sex change
by ChocoDragon
Summary: And Ace! This's her fault too!!! A disc 1 gamer tries to figure out the whole Selphie-Kiros thing... with hilarious results! tell me if I rated it wrong cos I'm bad at that!


And Ace! Don't forget her! This's her fault too as much as it is mine! %)  
  
So, this all started when Ace, who's still on disc 1 cos I forgot to lend the game back to her sweatdrops, tried to figure out how the hell Selphie can become Kiros. In her words..  
  
"Hi so Sephi went through a period of self dicovery & had a complete sex change & the male Selphi was cloned but then the clone also wanted a sex change... so Selphi is actually a sex changed clone and the other guy is the real Selphi! GASP Did I cum close?"  
  
Well, Ace, no you didn't. But to take the piss (in the nicest possible way)...  
  
DISCLAIMER- SQUARE OWN THE CHARACTERS AND THE PLACES AND SO ON. THEY CAN HAVE THE FIC TOO IF THEY LIKE, BUT I DON'T THINK THEY'D WANT IT.  
---------------------  
Selphie's... erm... change- Whatever possessed her to do it?  
  
READ WITH CAUTION  
  
  
1. Irvine wanted something... different  
2. Irvine turned his attention to men, so Sefie thought...  
3. Irvine shot her last week, and she wanted to repay the favour  
4. She wanted a real man, and knows if you want summit done, you gotta do it yourself...  
5. Irvine wanted some fun  
6. Squall wanted some fun  
7. Quistis wanted some fun  
8. She wanted her very own portable Shinobu  
9. The plastic surgeon misunderstood Zell's phone call of "Make, her sane, man!"  
10. The brain surgeon left his contacts at home  
11. She'll never sit on a candle again (Not lit, cos that's just stupid. And painful.)  
12. She tried acting on Bill and Ted, jumped in a phone booth and was wisked away to the world of FFVII, where she (acidentally) crushed Cid Highwind's red plane, he got pissed and jammed his spear up her *?!%!*@   
13. Zell told her to get bent, so she did  
14. She was fed up of being underesimated  
15. No one would sing Jacob's part in the Garden Festival Joseph play  
16. She lost a bet at the Chocobo races  
17. She crashed the Ragnarok, and the reconstructive surgery went a bit wrong...  
18. Hinorobu Sakaguchi (the guy who makes the games) realised no one in FFVIII had followed Cloud Strife's (he of FFVII with 3ft... SWORD- HAH! Betcha thought of summit else, you sicko!) tradition of cross dressing, and threatened to sack them all unless one of them cross dressed.  
So they all drew straws.  
(Squall lost, but he ordered Selphie to do it.)  
19. Selphie was a bloke in a previous life  
20. It was a joke birthday present  
21. It was part of a master plan to put Zell off hotdogs for life  
22. It was an April Fools Joke on Irvine  
23. The whole gang got drunk, then lost on the way home...   
Zell jumped off the comm tower- He's still in Deling General Hospital in a full body cast  
Quistis went to the kennels and had a philosophical conversation about eggs with a resident Westie  
Squall fell asleep and Rinoa dragged him into the middle of the road to look for a flower seller. The two now attend Alcoholics Anonymous and Squall headlines a lecture session on the topic "Don't stand in the middle of the road when you're pissed and a convoy of French truck drivers have found their passports"  
Irvine tried to catch a Chicobo with a lasso made from peanut wrappers and bubble gum. He failed.  
And Selphie... well, you know the rest...  
24. She wanted to  
25. She took playing King Louie in "The Jungle Book" a bit too far when she sang the line "I wanna be a man, man cub, and stroll right into town..."  
26. She listened to the Buffy soundtrack too many times, and took "God is a Man" to heart  
27. Her and Irvine ran out of things to swap  
28. She wanted a new toy  
29. All the cool kids are doing it these days  
30. She wanted to be taken seriously for once  
31. She woke up one morning, and decided there and then "Hmmmm... I think I'll be a man today"  
32. Cid heard her singing "Macho, Macho man, I want to be a Macho man" and got the wrong idea for a surprise Christmas present  
  
He, he, he... 


End file.
